Merry Birthday!

My parents were both born in the summer, Dad in mid June and Mom at the end of July. No holidays to compete with, no one else in the family with a birthday close to theirs. Things did not work out nearly so well for us kids! My brother and sister share a birthday in early March but at least there is no holiday to compete with.

I got a double whammy. I was born on the same day as the daughter of my mother's best friend. That I really didn't mind so much, it was kind of cool to share your birthday with a friend. Trouble is, we were both born in mid December.

My parents waited a long time for me to come along and they always tried to make my birthdays special. The Christmas tree was never brought home until after my day, there were always presents and cake; my gifts were always wrapped in birthday paper. I don't really think I missed out on anything as a kid because of the unfortunate timing of my birth.

You'd think that having a December birthday myself that I would have shown some consideration to my kids. B arrived the day after my 20th birthday. Bean was due the following year on his birthday! Right from the very start she let us know she would always do things in her own good time and she waited until Christmas day to arrive.

With a Christmas birthday it was impossible to wait to put up the tree so tradition changed and the tree went up shortly after Thanksgiving. There were a couple of years that I let them have individual birthday parties with their friends but for the most part they got a family party together on the weekend closest to B's birthday. Some years he had to wait a few days, but Bean has always received her birthday gifts early. They received birthday cards but often their gifts were wrapped in Christmas paper.

Having already celebrated Bean's birthday I've blown it once or thrice and wished her Merry Christmas before Happy Birthday on her day. A sure way for a mother to remain in the dog house for a full year!

As if three December birthdays weren't enough, with my marriage to John there were three more holiday birthdays to celebrate. Starting on my birthday and then every seven days thereafter we have his sister Ann's, sister Marie's and then John's in early January. Add Jae, my best friend and her two sons and we celebrate ten birthdays near the holidays!

These days with everyone's work schedules and visits to their in-laws sides of the family to plan around we have one combined get together where we celebrate both birthdays and Christmas.

Merry Birthday! Happy Christmas!


Look for special birthday posts on the 17th and 25th.



This was written for part 1 of the 86th edition of the Carnival of Genealogy: The other Holiday Happenings; to be hosted by Jasia at Creative Gene.

Thanks for the poster fM!

Breast Cancer Awareness - Friends

October is both Family History Month and Breast Cancer Awareness Month. This month I will be writing about how breast cancer has affected my family. Please join me in raising breast cancer awareness by writing about how breast cancer has affected you and yours.




I have known far too many women who have had breast cancer. It really strikes close to home when a co-worker or someone else you know disappears from your life to battle the disease. But there is an unfortunate "out of sight, out of mind" mentality when it comes to someone you don't know well.

Harder still is when breast cancer strikes your best friend. You worry and wait. You pray. You bake. You pray some more. In the case of my best friend it seems that the battle has been won. Yet there is always that worry in the back of your mind that cancer will once again rear it's ugly head.

Understandably my friend would like to retain her privacy and so I will not write her story here for all the world to see. However her life and mine are so intertwined that my story is not complete without hers and I think it is important to record it for future generations to find when we are gone. I am hoping that her cancer is but a tiny part of our story together and that we live to have many more adventures.

Have you recorded those special friendships or will future generations be wondering why there are 600 photographs of someone that they can't seem to find in the family tree?

Breast Cancer Awareness - Florence

October is both Family History Month and Breast Cancer Awareness Month. This month I will be writing about how breast cancer has affected my family. Please join me in raising breast cancer awareness by writing about how breast cancer has affected you and yours.




John lost his mother to breast cancer while he was still in high school and more than 40 years later her death is still hard for him to talk about. I know very little about Florence's illness other than that she had surgery and it was unsuccessful.

There is no history of breast cancer in the family as far as we know. Florence's parents were both born in Italy and we know very little about the family. She worked for many years in a local candle factory and her family has always wondered if the toxins she was exposed to caused her cancer. She died in 1968 and at that time mammography was used only when there was a suspicion of cancer rather than as a screening tool.

Florence's life life was cut far too short. She didn't live to see her youngest child graduate from high school. She missed weddings and the births of many grandchildren and great-grandchildren. I wish I'd had the opportunity to meet Florence, I think we'd have gotten along quite well.

Breast Cancer Awareness - Anna

October is both Family History Month and Breast Cancer Awareness Month. This month I will be writing about how breast cancer has affected my family. Please join me in raising breast cancer awareness by writing about how breast cancer has affected you and yours.



We all know how important a health history can be. The first time I was asked if there was any history of breast cancer in my family I had to respond with an uncertain, I don't think so. After that first time I asked my mother and she reassured me that there was no history of the disease on her side of the family and none that she'd ever heard of on my father's side. For the next thirty years I answered with confidence that I had no genetic link to the disease. I have quoted from Aunt Tamerson's 1960 letter before. Imagine my shock when I read:

Both my parents were hard workers + the days were long. Father was extremely generous + in summer raised a huge garden + very often gathered much from it, washed + sorted it + put it in a big basket + started out giving it to various neighbors. Anything he had he would loan or give even to money he could ill afford to part with. It got so mother kept the money + when needed for the family, gave it to him but when it was for someone she just didn’t have it + father was satisfied. He took huge bunches to town + and gave them to some one he liked. He was very well liked + always had a joke to tell. He walked miles + miles when able to work + later not so much but always to town + back even when he had to stop and rest on some one’s porch.When he got so he fell mother would call me he had started for town + I would watch for him + when he started home I’d call + tell her. Several times he fell + could not get up alone. He had Palsy or Parkinson’s disease which has a way of making the upper parts go faster than the feet + he fell on his face. It was very hard when he could not walk to town + later when he could not get out of his chair alone nor put his feet into bed at nite. Also as many do he got irritable + mother patiently had it all to bear. She knew she had cancer but felt she must care for him + I did not know it until he was gone + then it was too late to do anything. I took her to Dr. + he confirmed it so we felt there was little to be done. She came home with me after he died + stayed until warm weather. Then she went home + fixed the house for her in one part + your folks in the rest of house. She went over all her things + put for your father in one room + for me in another. Also divided in trunks + cup- boards so it was simple to care for. When she got too bad she called me + said to come for her. She was in bed 3 mo. at the last + for over a year the cancer (breast) had to be dressed. Mentally she suffered more than physically as it was a hard thing to look forward to. A month before the end she decided to stop eating + breathing but admitted to me later she guessed she couldn’t just die + get it over with. I had no idea she was trying that but thot she was just worse. She was always patient + I slept on a cot in her room + even ate in her doorway as she hated to be left alone. She wanted to be here + not go to a hospital + I was so glad I could do for her. She would have made a good nurse + often was called to her friends to care for some member of their family.

We know from the letters that Anna did nurse the family and neighbors. When Ashley's health declined did she really feel that his needs superseded her own? Or did she feel from experience that by the time that she knew she was ill that it was already too late? She and Ashley never had a lot of money so perhaps she was concerned about the cost of treatment. Anna died 18 months after Ashley on 24 June 1930. At that time there were few treatment options. She would have faced surgery and possibly high doses of radiation. Her final year could not have been easy for her or any of the family. Tamerson's letter and the 1930 census both confirm that Daniel and his family had moved into the house with Anna prior to her death but if you ask Mom she'll swear that they didn't move in until after Anna's death. Was Anna's illness just more than her young mind could deal with? Daniel was an alcoholic. Was Anna's illness a contributing factor?

Anna did have a long, mostly good life but if not for breast cancer it could have been longer. Long enough for her youngest grandchild to get to know her.



Binns, Tamerson Carlisle. (Buchanan, MI) to “Dear Vivian”
[Vivian Carlisle LaValle]. Letter. 28 October 1960. Digital Images 1-9. Privately held by Apple, [ADDRESS FOR PRIVATE USE,]
Snowville, New York. 2008.
[Carlisle Family, Box #1, Genealogical Papers, Bentley Historical Library, University of Michigan. 2008.]

Beneath the Oaks

803 Main St, Buchanan, MI Year unknown

My great-grandfather, Ashley Carlisle, celebrated his birthday every July 5th by having a picnic under the oak trees on his front lawn. Invited were any and all veterans from the area that wished to attend. People came from Chicago and perhaps even further away. Large tables were lined up end to end and covered with food. Often over 100 people attended. I am guessing that the last picnic was about 90 years ago. I can only imagine what a huge undertaking this was for Ashley and Anna and yet very little about it is found in the letters.

803 Main St, Buchanan, MI. April 2008

Some of the old oak trees may remain but the house is long gone and I assume a new one has been built on the site.

Our 4th of July celebration will take place this afternoon. A picnic will be held under the pines and there will only be 20 or so. Not quite the picnic of years ago but we'll be talking of those long ago days.

Happy Birthday Grandpa Ashley!

Wordless Wednesday - Silver Anniversary

John and Apple
25 February 1984
Minetto, NY

A Pink Ball Gown

My grandmother, Mary Kelly Berry, was a Rebekah. The Rebekah's are a branch of the Independent Order of Odd Fellows to which organization my grandfather, Kimberly Powell Berry belonged. My grandparents never discussed their social life with me and it was surprising to me as a young adult to discover they had a fairly active one. My discovery came in 1984 when my grandfather died and members of the I.O.O.F. attended his wake.

I didn't learn of my grandmother's membership until we began the chore of cleaning out the house. Grandma had died when I was only 10 and Grandpa saved many of her things for me, feeling, correctly, that at the age of 10 I was too young to appreciate them.

Tucked away on the closet shelf in their bedroom was a box from Flah's, a department store on South Salina St in Syracuse, NY that went out of business years ago. Flah's was an upscale store and I wasn't taken there very many times as a kid. I don't know what I expected to find in the box but remember being surprised it held a ball gown.

At that I point I still had no idea for what occasion Grandma would have bought such a fancy dress. The same day that we discovered the box in the closet my father went through Grandma's jewelry box and selected items for both my sister and me. One of those items was this ribbon.

The ribbon is two sided.
This side would have been
worn to funerals.

The other side is badly damaged.
Shown with the ribbon is Grandpa's
I.O.O.F pin.

That was all I was given at that time. More than ten years later, when I developed an interest in family history, my father gave me a folder full of pictures of my grandmother taken at Rebekah dinners. I have previously posted several of them. I'm guessing that they are from the 1930's & 1940's.

There are several different group shots from the year that Grandma wore the pink gown.

Mary L. Berry, 6th from left. Others unknown.

Mary L. Berry 3rd from left, front row.

Mary L. Berry, 6th from left.

Mary L. Berry, center front row.

I don't know this for certain, but I believe that several different pictures were taken and they could purchase the one that they liked the best. For other years there was only one picture of the group. So why did she buy four different ones from this year and save the gown? (This was the only gown we found.)

It appears the gown may have been worn to the installation banquet, 23 May 1940. Grandma would have been just a couple of weeks shy of her 40th birthday.

Rebekah Assembly of the I. O. O. F.
of the State of New York

I, Maude J. McKeel. President of the Assembly of the I. O. O. F. of the State of New York, with the approbation of the Rebekah Assembly aforesaid, and by virtue of the power in me vested, do hereby appoint and commission

Mrs. Mary Berry. P. N. G.,
of Evening Star Rebekah Lodge No. 52

District Deputy President, and confer upon you full power and authority as such District Deputy President for the Rebekah District of Onondaga No. 1
composed of the following Lodges:

52 Evening Star
257 Charlotte
258 Westminster
417 Morning Star
418 Ka-noo-no

As District Deputy President of said District, you are empowered to act as representative of and in duty bound to faithfully obey the Assembly President.

Unless sooner revoked by the Assembly President this Warrant shall remain in force during my term of office and until the regular appointment of your successor.

Given under my hand the the Assembly Seal, this 23rd day of May 1940.

(signed) Maude J. McKeel
Assembly President

ATTEST:
Inez D. Squires
Assembly Secretary

Dad also passed on the gavel that Grandma used during her term of office. I used it when I was in Home Bureau.


I don't know when my grandparents joined the I.O.O.F. Did one join first and then the other or did they join together. Based on the pictures, Grandma was a member from sometime in the 1930's. The last item I have is a program from 1954 which lists Grandma as a member of the planning committee.






Now, back to the gown. It has moved with me at least four times and finds a new home at the back of a closet in each new home. The Flah's box was discarded years ago. There are several small tears, one at the hem line probably caused by Grandma's heel. The rose pattern has worn off in places and there a several small stains.

It it too small for me to wear. I keep it simply because it was my grandmothers. I have considered donating it to the local historical society but it really is not in good shape. I think it is time to pass it on to my sister and perhaps she can wear it to tea next year.


This was written for the 55th edition of the Carnival of Genealogy.

Making Waves

AARP has a short video, Making Waves, that has some information and wonderful pictures of the women who joined the Navy to serve during WWII. My mother was a WAVE so I found it particularly interesting. The video promotes the book, Making WAVES: Navy Women of World War II by Evan Bachner. I'll be checking the library in town to see if they have it.

WAVES = Women Accepted for Voluntary Emergency Service

This is a picture from my mother's collection. She's the one top right.

Erie Canal Museum - Lecture Series, Part 1

First I have to thank Susan Kitchens for letting me know about the lecture series at the Erie Canal Museum as I hadn't heard about it. The rest of the series sounds interesting and if you would like more information your can find it here. Please help spread the word! I wrote about my visit to the museum here.

Much of my family history has links to the canal so I was looking forward to the lecture by Robert Arnold, New York State Museum senior historian; Myth and History: Distilling the Truth. He didn't disappoint me when he began his talk with his own family story of how his grandparents met on the canal. In his family, the story is told that his grandmother was standing at the edge of the canal, got knocked in and was fished out by his grandfather. Is this the way history happened or a good family yarn? He's not sure.

He went on to define myths as treasured stories that are hard to let go of. He then debunked the following four myths that are still widely held.

1. The first colonists believed in freedom of religion.
2. Militia sharp shooters lined up behind trees and thus outsmarted the British to win the Revolutionary War.
3. The South had all of the slaves and the North wanted to free them.
4. The Irish built the Erie Canal.

I enjoyed listening to the actual history of each of these even though I was familiar with them. He expanded on what I knew about the Revolutionary War and although I had heard the myth about the Irish I had never heard about how the myth came about. His explanation was that because the Irish spoke with an accent and held to a different religion than most they stood out in people's memories. Only about 15% of the workforce on the canal were Irish.

He then moved on to a personal myth, one of his own making! His family was from DeRuyter, NY and he found an Arnold Rd on a map. After having to ask for directions he found an abandoned road. On traveling the road he found a likely spot for a homestead and could see his ancestors living in such an idyllic spot. He had visions of getting permission to return and do some archeology with other members of his family to find the exact spot of the old home. When he actually checked old tax records he learned that Arnold Rd. was named for another family. His family had lived right in town. His lesson, "Don't think things are facts just because you want them to be."

He had a warning about the local histories written in the late 1880's that we are all so fond of. Most were written based on subscriptions so if your ancestor's didn't pay, they weren't included. If they were included you need to be aware that they provided the information that was published. Anything that they thought shameful or embarrassing would have been left out. Conversely they may have added an embellishment or two. The family papers I have on Hannah Glover Carlisle are written almost word for word like what I transcribed from one of these history books and now I know why!

I was beginning to think that our written and oral family histories weren't worth much after all! Not at all. He encouraged us to write it down now, as memories tend to fade. Get your relatives to record their memories now and compare notes. You may be surprised at how six different people will have slightly different memories of the same event. Next he spoke about a diary kept by one of his ancestors. It contained mostly the minutia of day to day life. But he was able to verify and learn from it. If there was an entry such as "Charles went to lodge meeting," he was able to look at old newspapers for that date and see that the Oddfellows had a meeting. He also told of interviewing an elderly Aunt who he said was right on about 80% of the time. She was able to corroborate some of what was in the diary. He's not buying the story that oxen dragged the yule log into the house.


Some other great points:

"Most myths have a grain of truth." I've found this over and over again in researching my family history.

"Be skeptical of your sources." Record your family myths - as myths. Then research them.

"All history is local." If you read that your family owned the first car in town, that's great but what does it really mean? You need to understand your family's place in history. Having the first car represents change. "We are embedded in our technology." How did all of the changes affect not only your ancestors but the community as a whole? How did changes to the community affect your family?

Mr. Arnold left us with this final thought: "A pedigree chart is just the skeleton. History is the flesh."